Real life that stopped my pen…

My oldest daughter wanted a dog when she was six years old. So off we did trot to the nearest animal shelter to find her perfect fur buddy.  The first puppy she saw she fell in love with. She was a mixed breed of this, that and the other but I was assured the parents were only medium size so no worries should I have that our tiny fur ball would eat us out of the house one day.  With that tidbit of information we were happily on our way home. 

As time went on Jamara (named affectionately after our three kids) grew to medium size and a wonderful addition to the family.  She had a litter of six a couple of years later due to my thinking she didn’t have the opportunity to do so. I then learned…look the other way at the wrong time and opportunity will knock.  Another unforgettable learning experience was, never let six adorable puppies out in an unfenced back yard.  The neighbors will never forgive you. 

As time went on Jamarra remained with us through three rabbits, a population explosion of hamsters, a short lived guinea pig, three doves, a few chameleons and lastly a few years later, a puppy for my youngest daughter.  

All was right in the world, we had brought an end to adding additional fur and feather babies into the family and through it all we felt very well balanced. 

Or so we thought…

Jamarra had other plans for us. On a routine veterinary visit we learned that Jamarra had diabetes and we were told of all the ugliness to expect.  But being the optimistic family that we are, we decided to make the best of it. As the days and months went by, Jamarra was getting her insulin shots daily and appeared to be doing well. Then, one morning she decided we could take the morning pain ritual of the shot and stick it anywhere, but not in her.  

 Our oldest daughter was basically excepting of the unwanted circumstances. She said just knowing that Jamarra was no longer struggling put her mind at ease.

I, on the other hand had lost my cool and perspective of the bigger picture that Jamarra was now okay. 

So I sat down to do what I would often do in my free time when I had something on my mind. Only this time was different, I couldn’t write. I couldn’t put our experience with Jamarra into words. 

And each time I tried I could never get past the first paragraph. This went on for what seemed like forever until…

I started to understand that situations such as this experience may affect my flow of words on occasion. It happens…and it’s okay.  I also understood that I don’t have to stay in that state and I am aware that it is just a state that I am in.  By state, I mean keeping my mind fixed on the subject. When I choose to let go of a state that is limiting me, I can move to a state of desire by transferring my thoughts onto something I so desire. Knowing that I create my life based on my thoughts, I intentionally choose my thoughts.

And today, I write about Jamarra with a smile. She left us with some wonderful memories that we will forever cherish. 

-MaryEvelyn